ANDREW'S COFFIN

Andrew works for a general contractor that builds mostly luxury homes with fancy woodwork. Neither of us expected he would ever asked to help build a CASKET!
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These pictures are from his cell phone. I can't believe how much detail and work and expense go into the building of these things...only to get lowered into the ground and never seen again. Just bury me in a pine box. That's what I say.
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But when the local mortuary saw it, they put an order in for ten more!

Andrew was pretty proud. He came home and told me he was going to build himself one for later and store it in our cold storage room. I laughed, because I assumed he was kidding. On second thought...
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I should probably double check on that. Anyway...




Happy Halloween, Internet folks!

SNAPSHOT SATURDAY--All you need is love

So, this picture is from an expedition we took a few weeks ago. We drove 2 hours to nowhere in particular, got out of the car, and took a walk with camera in hand. It was lovely. 

I wanted a picture with both of us, but there wasn't anyone on hand to help out. Instead, I took one of each us on this fence and used GIMP on my computer to combine the two pictures into one. Wa-lah! We're BOTH on the fence! 

It's was my first time attempting such a feat, and pretty pleased with myself...until I noticed a few important body parts that had completely disappeared in the process. Ha! Oh well. You wouldn't have noticed unless I told you, right? And who needs hands and feet as long as you get to be with the one you love?

Halloween--FOCAL POINT FRIDAY

BEST:

Halloween. We carved pumpkins with friends yesterday. This is the back of Andrew's. 

Andrew's black widow and my gnarled old tree. 

My Halloween costume at the school's festivities. Throughout the day, my kiddos called me a gangsta, a boy, and a rapper. But I was supposed to be a student. See the backpack?

 ...the wildly popular, silly-shaped bracelets?

...and this T-shirt I found at the Deseret Industries Thrift Store last night?

I was a STUDENT...modeled privately after the large handful of rowdy boys I have been blessed with this year. *ahem*

I do so adore dressing up for Halloween. (You might remember last year's costume from THIS POST.) But I have come to the conclusion that guy's baggy styles far outweigh the heels and skirts of the fairer sex. It was like wearing pajamas all day long, I tell you!





WORST:

I was looking for something to watch on Netflix while I graded a mountain of tests, and chose a documentary on stress. Why I chose such a topic, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because it is my normal, constant state of being. The emotion feels comfortable. Homelike. Oddly enough, stressed is the only way I feel content. When I'm not stressed, I begin to get stressed that there's something I should be stressing about.

But  after watching this documentary and seeing what stress does to the human body (clogged arteries, weakened heart, weight gain, a haywire reproductive system, ulcers, headaches, lack of self control, depression, weakened immune system, dead brain cells, loss of memory, and loss of ability to learn new concepts), I concluded that I will probably die in the next 10-20 years. It was stressful just learning about stress!

And I'm sure it didn't help that I spent the week very conscious of my stress level and imagining its effects on my quickly deteriorating body. 

THANKFUL THURSDAY--Home Girl

My Beckster. There's nothing quite like having a sister--a girlfriend to talk and sing and joke with that I am 100% comfortable around. And I ADORE the fact that she is currently living in Rexburg to go to school.

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We both lead very busy lives, but when we do find time to get together, it's the best. For example, one night, she was kind enough to come with me to my classroom to help get some stuff done. We worked hard for about ten minutes...before getting distracted...and just sitting there...talking and laughing ...for the next two hours. We got nothing accomplished, but it was a night to remember. I am thankful for Becca.

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P.S. That is my tough gangsta' face. Fer shizzle.

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This has been another installment of...

TO ALL PARENTS

I realize I don't know my students like their parents do, but I do think that spending six hours a day with the little squirts counts for something. And I really do have their best interest at heart. Here are a few things I wish I could tell all parents...from the desk of Mrs. Ashmore.


1. READ, READ, READ and READ SOME MORE with your child! Take them to libraries, talk excitedly about books, read them your favorite books, use books and reading times as rewards, have them read books to you...even have them write their own books. I can't tell you what a difference it makes on their academic performance. Parents always want me to give them a secret magical formula for success. And this is it. It is so simple, and yet has an insanely huge impact.

2. Throw the video games away. Every year, the kids with the worst ADHD....the ones with violent tendencies when things aren't going their way...the ones who drive me absolutely bonkers....are the ones who talk incessantly of video games. This may sound a bit dramatic...but video games will rot your child's brain.

3. Your kids are so capable. It's amazing what they can accomplish with some responsibility, direction, and trust. Stop doing everything for them and give them a chance to step up.

4. Talk to your child. This is the single most effective way to build their vocabularies. Low numbers of vocabulary words in a child's knowledge base will greatly inhibit their reading acquisition. Those entering school with lower vocabularies will almost never catch up to their peers. Talking with your children will give them practice with language, grammar, and interacting with others...all necessary skills. And it just makes them feel good to have you listen. =)

5. Missing school IS a big deal. Those two days that your child was absent in order to babysit her younger siblings, she missed our lessons on nouns, breaking syllables, using guide words in a dictionary, explanation of the weekly vocabulary words, the spelling list phonics pattern, and multiplying by sevens facts. I simply do not have the time to re-teach those entire lessons just for your child! And everything they learn tends to build on the previous lessons. The big hole in their education stemming from those two days can haunt them for years.

6. Birthday invitations. I know it's convenient for you just to send them to school with your child to pass out to their friends...but you don't see the look on the kid's faces who aren't invited. It crushes their little hearts...and mine. Invite everyone, or send them in the mail.

7. Don't be a helicopter parent. Hovering protectively nearby to swoop in and save your child from consequence or discomfort, robs them of learning any lessons from those oh-so-important learning experiences (See # 3 above). Let me also mention, this type of parenting creates wussy crybabies. And they have to learn real fast that crying does not prompt me to swoop in and fix every little situation for them like would happen at home.

8. I know everything about you by the end of the school year...whether I want to or not. I know your level of education, the state of your marriage, your economic status, your religion, your values, your manners, whether you like me or not, your parenting skills, your top priorities, and even occasionally, your sex life. Kid's talk. Watch what you say.

9. Your child may be the center of your universe, but I have to share mine with 25 others. I saw this statement as part of a list found in the Reader's Digest a year or so ago. I love it. LOVE. IT. Often times, parents don't understand that I am working myself to the bone for their child...but I am spread rather thin.There is only so much I can do as a single person. Be nice to and understanding with your child's teacher!

10. I really do know what I'm talking about. I may look young, but I am a trained professional. I spent 4+ years learning how to educate your child, and I have several additional years of practical experience in this art. Don't discount my ideas because I can't possibly know what's best for your child. You may disagree. But do so politely, please.

11. Don't label your child in front of them. I have had so many parents inform me, with their child standing right there: "Suzy is so smart in math but will need a lot of help with reading." or "Steven is shy, so he may struggle making friends." "Billy is smart, he's just really lazy." People! Do you not understand what your words are doing?? Children will, rise up to meet your expectations. If you tell them they are a poor reader, shy, or lazy...they will become and always be, a poor reader, shy, or lazy. Those stereotypes are nearly impossible to break through.

12. I really do care about your kid. A lot. Please don't assume that I am "out to get him" if I need to share some academic or behavioral struggles with you. We are on the same team.

SNAPSHOT SATURDAY--Andrew's Kill

I got a text message yesterday with this picture and a note:

"Not bad for my first buck!"


I am so happy that Andrew is so happy!
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As long as he doesn't ask me to help skin it, that is. I'd prefer not to see the poor animal until it's neatly packaged in my freezer.
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Congrats, hon!
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FOCAL POINT FRIDAY--10/22/10

My Weekly Recap

WORST:

I don't know what has been wrong with me this week, but I think my brain decided to take a vacation. I'm usually a pretty "together" kind of gal. But in a week's time, all of the following occurred as a result of my thoughtlessness:

• I lost my keys while making some church Relief Society home visits one night. Andrew was gone at his own meetings, so a friend spent an hour helping  me retrace my steps back to every house we had visited. Never did find them. Later that night, as I was telling Andrew about my horrible evening, he just looked at me like I was CrAzY. He simply reminded me he had dropped me off at my meetings. So of course, he had the keys the whole time in order to be driving the car. I wanted to die.

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• On two separate occasions, I had to break into my house, because I had left the keys locked inside. I won't tell you exactly how, but I will say: it wasn't easy. Especially in a skirt. 

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• We planned to leave early in order to drive down to Utah for Erin's wedding. On our way out the door, I realized I had left my purse at work. I had to have my temple recommend for the wedding, so we drove back to get it. To make a long story short, we drove back and forth between work and school three times in search of that stupid, stinkin' thing. Wanna know where I eventually found it? On the hook at home where I always keep it. I  never even brought it to work in the first place. We left for Utah two hours later than planned. 

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• I made the bed with the quilt going the wrong direction. It looked completely ridiculous dragging on the carpet on either side of the bed and hardly long enough for our feet on the other. But I didn't even noticed until Andrew made fun of me as we were going to bed that night. 

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• After all that, I locked my keys in the car just as Andrew left for the evening. So after breaking into my house AGAIN...I called a locksmith and was given a quote of 50 bucks. No way, José. Luckily, Andrew was able to break in the car when he got home at around 11 o'clock, and we didn't have to waste that money on my stupidity. 

BEST:

On the other hand, I think my brain reappeared in time for Parent-Teacher Conferences. They went really well! I felt confident, capable, and didn't have any mean, defensive parents yelling at me this time! Hooray!

And the best part is they're all over with. 

Until January anyway. But the district even gave us Friday off to make up for our long days! Double Hooray!

A LETTER

Dear Jeff, Andrea, Braxton, Adelle, and Emmett,

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Thank you for coming to visit us in Rexburg. It was a joy to play with such beautiful, well-behaved kiddos, eat chocolate covered pomegranates, and enjoy such happy company. We want you to come back as soon as possible. Will tomorrow work? Our leaves need to be "raked" again.

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Lots of Love,
Andrew and Rachel



P.S. Thanks for letting me steal pics from your blog...

Jeff, Brax, and Andrew playin' in the leaves.



Adelle, Emmett, and I watching on

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MEMORY MONDAY--Wanna Kiss?

Eighteen years old. St. George, Utah. First date of my college career.

The guy was a preemie leaving on his mission in a couple weeks. Apparently, he was DESPERATE for a kiss before he left.

I spent the evening frantically dodging his attempts to put his arm around me, hold my hand, or...worse. It was a first date, I wasn't an experienced dater, and he was a bit too eager.

I thought the last straw was when he drove us up to the local make-out spot. I may have been new in town, but I knew exactly where we were. I sat scrunched up against my car door observing his awkward attempts at "moving closer" until I finally informed him it was time to take me home.

I had a headache, you see. That's believable, right?

But then, on the front steps, after my quick, obligatory hug and a lunge to open the door, he asked:
"Do you wanna kiss?"
I stopped and stared at him in shock for half a second before responding with thinly veiled annoyance, "No."

What happened next will forever blow my mind. It was so sad. So pathetic. Piteous, even.


He reached into his pocket and pulled out a zip-lock baggy. Holding it up for me to see, I caught sight of foil wrapped Hershey's kisses in the yellow glow of the porch light.


I wish I could have seen my expression at that moment. It must have been something between a frozen forced smile and pure disgust. "He...he...he...that was...clever," I faltered as I accepted his offering of a chocolate kiss.


But after such a desperate display, I didn't feel bad for not inviting him in, as his hopeful face peered in at my roommate sitting on the couch. I didn't care as I said goodnight, closing the door an inch from his nose. And I didn't even feel bad as my shocked roommate mildly censured me for my rudeness.


It wasn't until after I got over my nausea that I was able to recognize the bright side to the situation: It makes for a funny memory, right?

SNAPSHOT SATURDAY--Underwater Wedding

This is NOT my picture.

I wish.

This shot was taken by ashlee aubach. Isn't it incredible?! The lighting, the colors, the shapes...

I follow many photography blogs and hers happens to be one of them. This particular post took my breath away. And apparently, this is just a pre-view, and there is MORE TO COME! I can't wait! Check out the original post HERE on her blog. It's bigger and better there. 

FOCAL POINT FRIDAY--10/15/10

Well, friends, it's a new week. Let me share the focal points of the last seven days from both ends of the spectrum.



WORST:
We drove to Main Street to feed my ardent shaved ice addiction...only to find a devastatingly depressing sign posted in the window.

I immediately made Andrew drive me to Wal-Mart, where a frantic search for snow cone making machines ensued. I was eventually informed however, that the item won't be in stock until after winter.

And what a long, dark, miserable winter it will be...

BEST:

On the other hand, Andrew's sister was joined in matrimony this week. I love how weddings bring family from other states that you are rarely blessed to see. There are never enough excuses for gathering to enjoy the familial associations that make life so sweet. Especially in the temple.

TUTORIAL TUESDAY-autumn garland

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This week I made something autumn-y. I had the time off from work, and I was feeling inspired by the fall-feeling rain.

I took a cheap-o clearance garland of fall leaves....

And some of this green tulle I got for a few dollars...

And wound them both together.





Then, I took these fancy leaves that I found at a craft store...
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painted pretty metallic colors...




And randomly attached them to the garland to add fullness and give it a more formal look.
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I attached them using old twisty ties, disguised with bits of tulle wrapped around them.




Next, I gathered some fancy ribbon I had gleaned from past Christmas gifts.




And to hold everything together, I tied bows every foot or so along the garland...

...In alternating colors.

Finally, I climbed on this crazy contraption Andrew had set up for me, watched my life flash before my eyes...

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And successfully draped my new creation over the living room mirror. Kinda pretty, huh?

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The entire project cost me about 10 bucks !

SNAPSHOT SATURDAY- Hula

My cousin Aimee, recently e-mailed me a scanned image of our Grandma Jennie. My mom's mom. Look at the placement of that arm! So graceful...so perfect. She was a beautiful dancer, who taught the art to her children.

My mom is also a beautiful dancer. It's been years since I've seen her do it, but I've never since found a hula dancer whose movements were as refined and balletic in my eyes.

Mom tried to teach me from a young age as well. But I never could get the hang of the hip thing...




Thank you. This has been the first in a weekly installment of...

FOCAL POINT FRIDAY

focal point

 \ˈfō-kəs\

–noun

1.The point at which all radiation coming from a single direction and passing through alens or striking a mirror converges. Also called focus .

2.	a central point of attention or interest

Mom used to always ask us:
"What was the best part and the worst part of your day?" This was her way, of avoiding the all too common: "My day was fine, Mom. Nothing happened." This question required a deeper response.

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With this in mind, I'd like to pick out the "focal points" from each week and record them in this on-line journal of mine: best and worst.

WORST:

I think I broke my finger. Both joints are purple, I can't bend it all the way, and I ain't never gettin' these wedding rings off (not that that's so horrible).

But how could such a thing happen, you ask?

It all seems to stem from the point where Andrew threw a football at me. Rude, right?

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We'll ignore the fact that I voluntarily agreed to play catch with my fall/football season-fever infected husband in the backyard. And that I'm a wussy girl whose stupid finger got in the way, ruining all our fun.

BEST:

It is Spud Harvest 'round these parts. School-age children all through southeast Idaho, are out in fields with their families to help bring in the potato crop. I, on the other hand, spend an entire week relaxin' at home. In my lime green socks.


It is a beautiful thing my friends.
(The week away from work, I mean. Not the socks.)




Happy Friday!

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THANKFUL THURSDAY

The prophet's recent words:

"My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God's love...

...Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.This is a wonderful time to be on earth! While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are may things that are right."

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I don't want to get so caught up in the stresses and busyness of life so much that I forget how bounteously the Lord blesses us. So, let me introduce another weekly installment: Thankful Thursday. Here goes...

Changing Seasons- Isn't it amazing the way this earth cycles in such complete, beautiful ways? Every few months, the world takes on a completely different face--just as picturesque as before. It keeps life interesting, provides an ever changing composition for my camera to capture, and reminds me all year of the fact that God is the ultimate artist.

AWKWARD.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/
Highly recommend. Will brighten any gloomy day. Enjoy just a taste:




Next time, let's give him a Father's Day Present that won't give him such a big head.



He said, “Wanna go to prom? She said, “I guess.”

One more reason to never fear the dentist.

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The Squatters.

In their face.

Authentic all the way down to the rock holding the door shut.

Sexy.

Creepy.

The Offering.

Let's face it. There's nothing more awkward than an exorcism.

The Klingers